Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Not much to say

I've always found this time of year to be uninspiring. I know that many folks attack it with resolutions, plans to lighten their load of possessions, new approaches to help organize their lives... and those are all very worthy pursuits. It's just that I do that sort of thing all year, honestly, and frequently fall short or fail; my energy wanes in the grips of winter, after the holiday rush, and my attempts to revitalize myself and my life feel futile and phony. I call this mood my "dull-drums." It's a time to be thoughtful, I suppose. Or to ponder the amazing fact that my 10th wedding anniversary is just around the corner. Or to try to evaluate just when I stopped being viable and hip (or to realize that I never, in fact, actually achieved those states of being...) Mostly, I am trying to be aware of each breath, of the speed with which we're all spinning, of the fact that I am staring at middle age and don't have quite as much "going on" as I thought I would by now. I'm feeling pretty peaceful, though, about the ways that my reality differs from younger expectations I might have had about my fourth decade of life. God is kind, and He has shaped my understanding of success and contentment so that most of the time, I can truly feel comfortable in both those areas. On that note, I'll remain quiet here on the blogosphere sideline until I'm able to make more substantive observations. I hope you are finding health and happiness in the new year—and even if you aren't, the year is still pretty young, so don't despair. (And again, the single giant paragraph. Yep, still having issues. Sorry.)

1 comment:

Ludwig said...
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